"I could walk into this room"

“And the waves of conversation are enough
To knock you down in the undertow”

R.E.M. – Hairshirt

Almost once a week I have a recurring thought. It is the same thought. Exact same thought actually… I think, ‘why not?’. Why not be friendly? Why not be happy? Why not smile at strangers or make conversation?

It is interesting when I reflect on this. When I was younger, I can recall being at the supermarket with my mother and she would make silly conversation with the check out guy, some goofy comment about being on a diet and buying ice cream, or buying a ton of food and joking that it was just for that night’s dinner. Of course I would be mortified that my mother was trying to be funny. She was sooooooooo embarrassing.

But now I catch myself doing the same thing. When I am at work, I am back in a building I worked in for many years. Many of my colleagues are new here, but many people throughout the campus have been here for 5, 10, 15 years. I say hi to people. I ask how people are. I stop by the security desk every morning and chat with Stan, who has been at HQ since we moved in back in 2001. I try to practice my spanish with the women in the coffee shop, and they laugh at me (and with me) every morning when I flub my words.

And why not?

Last week I was in Phoenix and a colleague asked if I was always this out going and social. That made me reflect because I think I am shy and awkward. BUT- I like people. I like to make people smile. I like to hear how people are and why they are so different from one another. Honestly.

In addition though, I DO NOT LIKE lulls in conversation. If I am at a party and there is an obvious break in the conversation and people are awkwardly staring about, I will most definitely be the one to jump in and ask someone about themself, or the city, or sports or anything to get people chatting again.

Is this always a good thing? That is arguable. I don’t know. Sometimes it is exhausting. But I really do like to chat with people. Strangers or not.

So back to the recurring thought… why not? There are a few people I see, regularly in fact, that never smile. Sometimes don’t even acknowledge people they know as they walk past. They snort out a grumble or shoot down an idea and seem so incredibly unhappy.

It doesn’t cost anything to be happy, to make honest and interested conversation. It’s a corny saying, but smiles are actually contagious. This goes for bad days too. Even on a bad day- go chat with someone unrelated to your bad day. See what is new with them, talk about something random. It should take you out of your funk. It does for me anyway… why not…?